Gluttony

Yesterday I had the day off because it was national Indian Day. Yes that is a real holiday. And one of the perks of working for a tribal gaming commission is getting the day off. So Jeremy, Jamie and I headed to Oceanside with our bikes and rode from Oceanside to Carlsbad. (26 miles) It wasn’t as physically demanding as I had anticipated but actually rather fulfilling. Because even though I was riding with friends, 99.5% of the time I was in solitude with my own thoughts. It’s an ideal time to talk to God about what’s on your heart, meditate on scripture or listen to worship music and sing loudly as people give you funny glances. All in all, yesterday was the best experience I’ve had traveling an extensive distance in a long time. Since 2005 when I hiked 33 miles through Buckmann’s Gulch in Utah. There’s something about physically stretching yourself that also educes a stretching of your inter being. I also realized how little time I have for such activities. People have asked my to help out with church activities and its hard for me to say no. I really enjoy helping and all of these things are good things. So I’ve just said yes to everything. In the gospel of Mark there’s a story about when Jesus was in Capernaum teaching and healing the people of the village. During this time Jesus went to pray and be alone. The next day the disciples found him and asked what he was doing alone, for all the village had been looking for him. Jesus answered them by saying lets go. Lets continue on. So they continued from village to village and ultimately Jerusalem. The reason Capernaum was looking for Jesus was because there were still so many people that needed healing. If Jesus stayed he could have done so much more. But he said no. He said no because he already said yes to something else. He already said yes to dying for us all. So he continued to Jerusalem.

I’ve been feeling that I’ve said yes to so much that I don’t have time to have a healthy balanced relationship with God. Something that I’ve said yes to before but have been distracted from by the things that I’ve said yes to after. I want that to change.

Do I have too much on my plate?

Oh Lord, You're beautiful

I've been waking up to this song in my head this past week..

Oh Lord, you're beautiful; Your face is all I seek.
For when your eyes are on this child, Your grace abounds to me.

I want to take your word and shine it all around.
But first help me to just, live it Lord.
And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown.
For my reward is giving glory to you.

Oh Lord, please light the fire, That once burned bright and clean.
Replace the lamp of my first love, That burns with Holy fear.

In 1979, after negotiating a release from his contract with Sparrow, Keith Green surprised many in the music industry by refusing to charge money for concerts or albums. Keith and Melody mortgaged their home to privately finance Green's next album, So You Want To Go Back To Egypt. The album, which featured a guest appearance by Bob Dylan, was offered through mail-order and at concerts for a price determined by the purchaser. As of May 1982, Green had shipped out more than 200,000 units of his album – 61,000 for free. When his music was carried by Christian bookstores, a second cassette was included free of charge for every cassette purchased to give away to a friend to help spread his message.

Keith Green died on July 28, 1982 at the age of 28 in a plane crash along with his 3 year old son and 5 year old daughter.

"I repent of ever having recorded one single song, and ever having performed one concert, if my music, and more importantly, my life has not provoked you into Godly jealousy or to sell out more completely to Jesus!" — Keith Green

"He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

I heard a man speak about the process of an eaglet learning to fly. He described the eaglet sitting in the nest in all its comfort, as its mother kicks it out of the nest.

I can picture this eaglet franticly flapping its wings as a survival instinct as it plummets towards the rocky cliffs bellow. The little eaglet was oblivious as to what the purpose of this was; he was comfortable without a care in the world! Now all he sees is a range of jagged rocks in its near future, certain immense pain and possibly death!! What the young naive eaglet doesn’t realize is that, learning to fly is essential to its survival and there is absolutely NO other way to learn. As the eaglet rapidly approaches the rocks, wind brushing its feathers like it’s never felt, his mother swoops down to catch him. She grasps him tightly, bringing him in close to her as she ascends upward. She then gracefully places him back into the comfort of the nest… That is until lesson number 2!!

I recently went through one of these “getting kicked out of the nest” experiences. For a time I felt like the world was going to crash down on me, like something that was so meaningful and precious was about to get stripped away. Then, by the grace of God, He swoops down and carries me and places me in His comfort. It was undeniably a sudden manifestation of the essence. There are quite a bit of things that I need to change about myself in order to “Survive” to move forward in Gods plan for my life. Yet another lesson that God has taught me in order to someday fly with Him in His presence.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

Another birthday has passed. Unlike others, this one actually felt celebrated. For the passed 15 years, birthdays seemed to be like any other day (with cake, if I were lucky!!) But to have someone considerate enough to make elaborate plans for my birthday was entirely foreign to me. I don’t think I handled the unfamiliarity to the best of my ability. Sometimes when we’re not used to something, even if it’s infinitely more wonderful than what we’ve ever know, we can - well I CAN react the complete opposite from what is to be expected. Certain uncomfortable anxiety seems to settle in when I’m faced with benevolence that is foreign to me.